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Faith in Real Life

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In Faith in Real Life

No More Talking

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what is your life saying

Actions speak louder than words.  At least that is what they say.  When I come home and walk through that door, I can immediately tell if Tiffany needs me to sit down and talk with her about her day, or if she needs to be tagged out and I get to play in the wrestling ring of life with three kids.  Sometimes she doesn’t need me to say anything, she just needs me to do something.  And that speaks louder than anything I could have said to her. Communication is a funny thing because we communicate with far more than just words.  We express ourselves through our body language, our facial expressions, and our emotional responses.  We are constantly gathering information from each other as we live life together.  Often times the most helpful information are the things that no one is actually saying out loud.  It is the things that you are doing.  Sometimes it is just who you are that speaks volumes!  This brings me to a question:

If God took away my words, would my life keep speaking?

What would my life be saying?  Words aren’t everything, they are helpful, but they are not the end all and be all of communication.  What if someone said to you, NO more talking.  Would you be happy with the message your life would communicate?

So, here’s the question… what is your life saying today?

~Peter

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In Faith in Real Life

Listening to Your Pain

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The other day I wrote on the value of pain.  And since then I have had so many conversations with some of you about all of the painful situations that you are currently going through, or already have gone through.  It can be so incredibly overwhelming right?  It is never easy to talk about cancer, and how that is taking the life of your dad.  Or listening to someone share how mental illness is transforming their sister who was once brilliant and vibrant and is now fading away.  Pain comes in all shapes and sizes and pain knows very few boundaries.

In the midst of pain we can respond or we can ignore it.

I’ll never forget that Saturday morning men’s breakfast that we were sitting around a table enjoying bagel egg and cheese sandwiches when someone got a call that Shelly had passed away the night before.  Shelly attended our little church and was known and loved by everyone.  She was happily married and loved on her beautiful 6 year old daughter.  Shelly was a paraplegic.  She was not only unable to move her legs, she couldn’t feel them either.  The nerve endings in her legs that were supposed to communicate to her telling her that she was in pain did not work.  So that Friday night Shelly cozied up to a gas flame heater and fell asleep.  She never realized that her legs were burning and suffering excruciating pain.  Eventually a clot formed and went straight to her heart.  Unfortunately, the nerve endings that were designed to tell her that something hurt and that she needed to do something about it were not working.  She never got the message.

Pain communicates!hurt, pain, disappointment

What is your pain saying to you?  What is the next step that you need to take to move away from the source of pain and move towards the place of healing?

There is an old Jewish proverb that I love so much.  It says, “What soap is for the body, tears are for the soul.”  When I am in the midst of pain, I no longer apologize for my tears.  Those tears are as much a part of my communication process as the initial pain is.  I value the times when I have what we call in my family “a good cry”.  Don’t mask your emotions, don’t apologize for your tears.  God has given us each and every emotion so that we can properly relate to Him, and to one another.

Take a breath.  Pause for a minute.  What is your pain trying to tell you?

~Peter

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In Faith in Real Life

One Year at a Time: The Power of Simple Truths That Keep You Going

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A while ago I wrote a post on my favorite axioms.  I try to remind myself of these all the time.  An axiom is a self-evident truth that requires no proof.  Okay, so they are my axioms, which means that they are self evident to me.  They are incredibly helpful to me, and may be for you too.  They are like lights on the runway for me.  They help guide me and give me direction.  

I have realized that since the time that I wrote that post, another one has popped up in my life.  It is not as profound as some of the others, but still encouraging.  Here’s the latest.

Anyone can do anything for a year.

I warned you.  It’s not profound.  In fact it is incredibly simple.  That is one of the reasons why I love it.  It’s a timeless reminder to me not to give up or give in.  Some days I feel like a distance runner, and other days I feel like a sprinter.  On the days I feel like a sprinter and I am about to give up because the race is longer than I expected it would be or harder than I thought it was going to be I need to be reminded that anyone can do anything for a year.  

This encourages me to keep going.  Keep dreaming, keep following Jesus in the midst of whatever it is that is currently going on.  I find myself sharing this with people almost every week.  So whatever difficulty you are going through right now, remember, Anyone can do anything for a year.  I’m convinced of it.  Keep going.  Just take the next step.  And then tomorrow take the next one.  You’ll get there.  I promise!  

Likely you have your own axioms, I’d love to hear them too.  Drop them in the comments below.  

~Peter

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In Faith in Real Life

When Life Hurts: 4 Ways Pain Can Shape Your Faith

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“I never thought I was going to hurt this bad.”

I can’t tell you how many times I have heard someone share those words, or words like that with me.  I sat across the table from a woman recently, she had tears running down her face as she shared with me the struggle and the pains of her marriage.  It was a tragic story.  Her story was not a fairytale, or one of Hollywood’s romantic comedies.  Kate Hudson would never play this woman’s character.  Think more like Jennifer Lopez from Enough.

What do we do when life hurts get us down?  How do we respond when life doesn’t seem to be going the way that we expected it to go?

These are questions that I have had to answer for myself, and unfortunately I have people ask me those questions almost on a weekly basis.  We live in a broken world.  Our world is fractured with selfishness, greed, lust, anger, and pride.  Those are just a few of the ugly things that rear their heads in our world.  The good news is that Jesus came to heal not only our brokenness but the deep fracture that exists in our world today.

Pain is not always bad.  It is never fun to go through, but my experience has been that pain shapes us.  Pain has an incredible way of growing and developing our character.  Here are four things that I see pain doing in my life.

1. Pain causes us to Cry Out.

My wife Tiffany always makes fun of me, because whenever I get hut I vocalize it.  I can’t help but yelp when I mash my thumb with a hammer.  I can’t help but grunt when I twist my ankle.  That is me vocalizing what is going on inside of me.  When we go through pain, we need to vocalize what is happening.  Pain should cause you to cry out.  I’ll never forget laying in the hospital bed  almost 3 years ago now, unable to move, or even open my eyes because the pain was so intense.  All I could do was just quietly cry out to God, “Jesus help me… help me…”

2. Pain causes us to Slow Down

If you’ve ever broken a bone you know that life doesn’t go back to normal immediately after they set the bone.  The doctor prescribes a period of healing.  Sometimes it can be 6 weeks or more before you are healthy enough and before your body has been restored to the place where your bones can handle the stress and pressure on them.  Emotional pain has the same effect.  It should cause you to slow down and proceed with caution.  Your hurt causes you to test the waters a little bit before you dive right in.

3. Pain causes us to Think About the Root

I don’t know about you, but I never want to repeat painful situations.  If we don’t want to repeat the pain, then we better figure out what caused it.  After injuring myself I will never do that activity the same again.  You can’t right?  We have to figure out the root cause for the pain and then try to remedy it.  I was always taught that the most dangerous knife was a dull knife.  So now I try to keep my knives sharp because I remember the pain of cutting myself…

4. Pain causes us to Live Differently

Living in the wake of pain is not necessarily bad.  It does however have the ability to affect our daily patterns.  Sometimes pain is so difficult that it causes us to live totally different than before.  It may cause us to rely on God in a new way.  It may require that you wake up on a daily basis and change your routine.  We do this to avoid getting hurt again.

Pain is not always a bad thing.  I love what it says in James 1:2-4, “Consider it all joy my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance.  And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.”  That is not always an easy pill to swallow, but then again it is easier to go through pain when you know that there is something good that will come out of it.

Don’t be afraid to cry out in the midst of your pain.  Our God is there to listen!

~Peter

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In Faith in Real Life

My Struggle With Pride

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peter goweskyHonest moment: Pride can sneak in my life so fast and so furious.  Recently I had the opportunity to share with our church what God has been teaching me through the loss of my dad.  I was able to share how God has been growing my trust in Him and how much we need to rely on Him.  It felt good.  I loved doing it.  It was exciting to know that my story and my pain was not wasted.  Believe me, It felt good to hear from people that it made a difference.

Recently someone came to Liquid Nutley and on the way out she shook my hand and said, “I feel like you are so famous!  I watched you online.  I loved your sermon.”  For a split second it felt good.  I’ll even admit that for a few seconds I allowed that to sink in and I enjoyed it.  Then quickly I brought her back to reality by saying, “NO, NO, I am anything but famous.  Seriously, I am just like you.  I have a story to tell about how God has redeemed me.”

WHOAH, close call.

Pride encourages you to believe your tweeted quotes, your retweets, Instagram notifications, and all the Facebook posts that sing your praises.  Humility encourages you to ruthlessly deflect those poisonous arrows.  They are meant for good, but man they can do a number on your ego.  When pricked by an arrow laced with pride, your head tends to swell up like a pimple that needs a good popping.

Jen Hatmaker has said in her book 7,

“When the jars of clay remember they are jars of clay, the treasure within gets all the glory, which seems somehow more fitting.”

Pride tempts me to believe that I am something really important, when in reality, the work that God is doing in me is what is important.  In order to keep this in check, I ask myself two questions.

  1. How can I cause others to see God’s goodness, love, and grace through my life?

  2. How can I honor God with my actions?

This is one area that I desperately work hard on.  Because if not kept in check, I can easily believe that God is who He is because I somehow allowed Him to be.  Pride is a killer.  Don’t forget what Proverbs 11:2 says, “When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with the humble is wisdom.”

~Peter

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In Faith in Real Life

Your Message in a Bottle

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The other day I was out spearfishing in an undisclosed location of New Jersey.  (Somewhere on the Northern Tip of Barnegat Light)  I was out hunting around for a big 19+” black fish, a massive doormat of a fluke, or even the elusive triggerfish.  As I was diving down I was taking note of how beautiful everything was around me.  The day was just gorgeous, the sun was out, and the water was clear.  Yes I know.  I am talking about New Jersey water.  It can be clear people!  Since I have my clamming license, I always bring a mesh bag with me and collect some mussels along the way. My wife, Tiffany, can cook up some mean Mussels Marinara and boy do we enjoy that!  I took a dive down and ended up grabbing some really nice sized mussels.  On my way up I noticed a small water bottle floating along with me.  At first I didn’t pay it much attention, but then I thought, “come on, what is with people and throwing their garbage into the water?  I guess I’ll fish it out and recycle it.”  As I swam nearer to it, I noticed that inside the bottle was a neatly rolled up piece of paper, a few pebbles and some sand.  I stuffed it in the top of my wetsuit and didn’t think much more about it.

When I got home I told the kids what I had found and we opened the bottle together and read the message.  Here’s what it said:

last words

I’ve never found a message in a bottle before.  Have you?  When I think about a message in a bottle I think about two movie’s, Message in a bottle starring Kevin Costner, and An American Tale.  Clearly I’m revealing my age.  Remember when Fievel Mousekewitz falls off the boat and ends up being washed around in the bottle?

www.PeterGowesky.com

www.petergowesky.com
An American Tale

I’ll be honest, I was a little dissapointed by the contents of the message.  I was at least hoping to find out that I was going to be the reason someone was rescued off a far off island, or maybe it would be an ancient love letter, or who knows.  But alas, I didn’t.

So, what would you write?  What would your message in a bottle be?  Let’s imagine together you are stuck on an island and this is it.  You have one piece of paper and one bottle left.  What message would be so important that you had to write it down and cast it into the ocean?

Let’s hear em!

~Peter

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In Faith in Real Life

A Friday Freebie!

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A while back a good friend of mine who happens to be Australian, and who happened to previously have worked at Hillsong Church in his homeland said to me,

“You’re going to really like the new album that’s going to hit iTunes tomorrow.”

“Oh yeah? How do you know?” I said.

“I’ve got it on my computer already and listened to it a billion times.”

“How did you get that hook up?”

“Dude, I worked for Hillsong.”

“Oh yeah, right.”

Little did I know that one small conversation would change the course of my summers commute. It completely changed the attitude of what was being played through my speakers for a solid two months. By now, you have to know that I am referring to the album Zion by Hillsong United. What a killer album. It has some seriously well written songs that have swelling melodies and soaring anthems that allow me to be drawn into the presence of my savior.

I have to be honest, that from time to time when I need a break, I’ll put on my guilty pleasure tunes like Harlem Shake, Ho Hey, Bust a Move, Titanium, Some Nights, Radioactive, and most embarrassing of all-Trouble by T-Swift. So, if you don’t mind, I’d like my man card back.

You’ve got em too. Don’t hate. Come on. Own up to the tunes… It is relieving to get it off your chest.

Anyway, now that we have that behind us, on to the Freebie. As I was saying, this album has gone viral. It was a must have the day it was released. Much of the music has deservingly made it’s way into the Sunday morning worship set rotations. A favorite of mine has to be the song Oceans. Check out this recording of that song…

I love the chorus of this song…

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior

My wife Tiffany showed me this little gem and it was too good not to share. Over at Naptime Diaries, Jessi has a gift for you. It is a printable piece of art that you can hang on your wall to remind you of the truth and the challenge of that song… Click here to jump over to the post where she is sharing this beauty for free!

You’re welcome… Actually we should thank the fine people over at Naptime Diaries.

Enjoy! Take a picture of it printed and hanging on your walls, dorm rooms, lockers, or offices. Let’s see em.

~Peter

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In Faith in Real Life

Automatic Toilet’s and the Holy Spirit

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Holy SpiritDo you remember the first time that you walked up to a toilet and looked for the handle to flush it and it wasn’t there?  The individual that created this little device is a genius, and deserves a pat on the back.  As a pastor I shake tons of peoples hands on a Sunday morning.  I have made it my routine to go wash my hands after each service.  You people are carrying some serious amounts of germs on those hands.  So, it’s even better when I go into the bathroom and not have to touch that nasty little lever coated in sickness.

In our office each of the toilets there have automatic sensors on them.  Which totally enhances the experience.  However, one particular toilet flushes when you walk in the stall.  You know, it’s just a preemptive flush.  The first time that this happened to me, I was completely taken by surprise.  I mean you expect that at the end, not in the beginning.

One of the things that I have always thought about and shared with others is that we should see life through the lens of a parable.  What I mean is, what could God be showing you or teaching you through life’s everyday ordinary objects?  When Jesus taught the people He often told parables, or short stories that were embedded with images and pictures that people were familiar with.  It was a teaching strategy.

Right now you can ask yourself 3 questions to help understand your life’s parable.

  1. Where have you seen God lately?

  2. What is He trying to say to you?

  3. What is He prompting you to do?

Back to the automatic flusher…  Every time this happens I am reminded that I am never alone.  Even when I think that I am going to be alone, I am not.  Let’s be honest, sometimes as parents we retreat to the bathroom because that is generally a place where there is still a little bit of privacy.  But as followers of Christ we are never alone.  Do you remember what  Jesus told His disciples?  In John 14:16 He said, “I will ask the Father to give you another helper, and He will be with you forever.”

As I view life through the lens of a parable, a malfunctioning automatic toilet flusher reminds me that the Holy Spirit is with me, ALWAYS!  This means that when I am tempted, I am not alone.  When I am afraid, I am not alone.  When I am weak, I am not alone.  When I am hurt, I am not alone.  There is no where I can run, no place that I can hide from God.  And I love that the toilet sensor reminds me of that.

So, where have you seen God lately?  Keep your eyes open, you never know what may pop up in your life that reminds you of what God is doing in the world around us!

~Peter

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In Faith in Real Life

Patriots Day- Honoring and Reflecting…

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honor I will never forget where I was on September 11th, 12 years ago.  It is one of those days that has forever been burned into my memory.  I remember feeling the pain of confusion, wondering what was happening in my world.  I remember feeling anger at how someone could be so evil.  I remember being frustrated at the feeling like there was nothing I can do to help.  At the end of the day I remember feeling like my world had just been flipped upside down and shaken all up.  Where were you?  What do you remember?

Today we celebrate and remember Patriots day, an opportunity for us to pause and reflect on all of those men and women who lost their lives in the tragedy of September 11th.  It is appropriate to pause and remember, It is good to look back and reflect.  But today we should also look forward and seek opportunities to honor those men and women in our lives who stand up to protect the freedoms and liberties that we enjoy in our nation.

Honor is defined simply as regarding with great respect.

Let’s look for ways to honor those around us not only today, but each and every day.

~Peter

 

 

 

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Good news! You don’t have to be pinterest’y

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the real youWho are you?  I mean, who are you really?  Now let me ask a much safer question, who do people see you as?  Maybe people see you as the incredible business man who has it all put together with the perfect job, the incredible salary, the 401k, and the quarterly bonus.  Or maybe people see you as the super-hero mom.  You know, the mom whose Facebook page says, look at me all you other moms.  Take notes, cause I’m gonna kick your butts.  My kids will write books about how great their summers were when they grow older.  Pinterest was created because of my house.  Or maybe people see you as the college student who is going somewhere fast.  You get good grades, and you hold down a job while balancing sports and extra curricular activities.  But who are you really?

I was at Ikea the other day waiting in a ridiculously long return line when it hit me, who am I really?  This wasn’t a pity party, or way of  patting my own back.  If anything it was a reality check.  (to be honest, it helped pass the time too…)  I was wondering, who am I really, and where do I find my identity?

Henri Nouwen wrote in his book, In the Name of Jesus,

I am deeply convinced that the Christian leader of the future is called to be completely irrelevant and to stand in this world with nothing to offer but his or her own vulnerable self.  That is the way Jesus came to reveal God’s love.  The great message that we have to carry, as ministers of God’s word and followers of Jesus, is that God loves us not because of what we do or accomplish, but because God has created and redeemed us in love and has chosen us to proclaim that love as the true source of all human life.

That challenges me!  It strips away any proud thoughts that I am something amazing or uniquely special.  I am unique and special, but it is only because I am a child of God who was created in His image.  As followers of Jesus we have the incredible privilege to share with others the good news that Jesus died for them and that God loves them with a never ending, never giving up, unbreakable love.  Here’s the really good news.  You can just be you.  No pressure to be anyone other than who God made you to be.  It isn’t through any kind of crafty language, or cunning illustrations that people are going to connect with Jesus.  In fact, it is with you just being you.  Simple, right?  It may even be as simple as asking someone to come over for a backyard bbq.

Quit trying to look like you are someone incredibly special.  You already are, you’re a child of God.  You don’t need to pretend like you are something more than that.  Relax.

~Peter

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