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Spiritual Growth

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There’s really nothing worse than a dried-out brisket. You can smother it in BBQ sauce all you want, but once it’s tough and overcooked, there’s no going back. Unfortunately, a lot of us live our lives the same way—overcooked, overextended, and bone dry.

I passed out saltine crackers during church this week—yes, really. They were a simple but sobering illustration. Saltines are dry, bland, and they soak up every bit of moisture in your mouth. Kind of like the way life can soak up your energy and joy. Between work deadlines, kids’ schedules, social media, financial pressure, and keeping up appearances… it adds up fast.

And even though your calendar is full, your soul can feel empty.

Maybe you’ve asked yourself, “Is this it? Is this the life God meant for me?”

You’re not alone. Many of us are weary, worn out, and desperately trying to do more, be better, keep up.

But what if life isn’t about trying harder?

Jesus says in Matthew 11:28-30:

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest… you will find rest for your souls.”

That’s not just physical rest. It’s rest from striving. Rest from pretending. Rest from the pressure to prove your worth. Jesus doesn’t hand out more rules—He gives us Himself.

He gives us the Holy Spirit.

In Galatians 5, the Apostle Paul unpacks what it means to walk by the Spirit instead of the flesh. When we rely on our own strength, we default to anger, jealousy, selfishness, and burnout. But when we stay connected to Jesus, the Holy Spirit begins to produce something else entirely:

“The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.” (Galatians 5:22-23)

That’s not behavior modification. That’s heart transformation.

Here’s the truth:

Real fruit doesn’t come from trying harder—it comes from staying connected to Jesus.

Anyone can fake behavior. But you can’t fake the fruit of the Spirit. It shows up in your responses, your relationships, and your daily rhythms.

I learned this the hard way. Years ago, I carried around a hidden anger that I tried to mask behind a smile and a “pastor voice.” But eventually I broke. And when I did, God didn’t scold me—He met me. The transformation didn’t happen overnight, but it started with surrender.

The invitation still stands today:

Jesus is calling you out of burnout and into rest.

Out of performance and into presence.

Out of dryness and into fullness.

So how do you begin?

Start here: each morning, before your feet hit the ground, simply pray:

“Holy Spirit, lead me today.”

Let your life sync up to heaven’s heartbeat. You’ll be amazed what starts to grow.

Every day I either drive or walk by an enormous oak tree outside my neighborhood. Its limbs don’t reach straight up to the sky. Years of growth have twisted them, and countless hurricanes have forced them to struggle just to stay connected. I imagine the journey for this tree was not what it expected when it first shot up out of the ground.

And yet, here it is.

Strong. Sturdy. Still standing.

Its twisted and stretched-out limbs now provide even greater shade—covering more ground than it ever would have if it grew straight and narrow.

That tree reminds me of the personal growth journey we all take. It’s rarely linear, and almost never easy. The winds of change, the storms of life, the moments that shake us to the core—those are the things that shape us.

Many years ago, I started writing down my thoughts on a blog originally called theSaltLick.tv. Instead of deleting those old posts, I’ve decided to leave them right where they are—as markers of my journey from where I started to where I am today.

Here’s what that means:

There may be posts I wrote that aren’t fully formed yet.

Thoughts that reflect the life experience and knowledge I had at the time.

There are probably even a few posts that I’d be embarrassed to write today. And yes, maybe some that overshare just a little… (and now you’ll go back and read them, won’t you?).

But those posts are part of my faith journey.

Just like the twisted limbs of that old oak tree.

They reflect my spiritual growth—not always pretty, but rooted deeply and reaching out further than I thought possible.

That’s how it is with growth through adversity. The lessons you learn along the way become the very things that expand your reach and deepen your roots.

So let me ask you a question:

What part of your life looks different today because of your yesterdays?

Pause for a second and think about it.

You may not be where you wanted to be, thought you’d be, or dreamed you’d be. But if you look honestly—you’re probably not where you used to be either.

That’s resilience.

That’s personal growth.

That’s grace.

So keep leaning in.

Keep growing.

Keep writing, showing up, trusting, and walking it out.

One day, you’ll look back—and just like the old oak—you’ll see that every twist, every bend, and every storm helped shape something stronger than you ever imagined.

“I never thought I was going to hurt this bad.”

I can’t tell you how many times I have heard someone share those words, or words like that with me.  I sat across the table from a woman recently, she had tears running down her face as she shared with me the struggle and the pains of her marriage.  It was a tragic story.  Her story was not a fairytale, or one of Hollywood’s romantic comedies.  Kate Hudson would never play this woman’s character.  Think more like Jennifer Lopez from Enough.

What do we do when life hurts get us down?  How do we respond when life doesn’t seem to be going the way that we expected it to go?

These are questions that I have had to answer for myself, and unfortunately I have people ask me those questions almost on a weekly basis.  We live in a broken world.  Our world is fractured with selfishness, greed, lust, anger, and pride.  Those are just a few of the ugly things that rear their heads in our world.  The good news is that Jesus came to heal not only our brokenness but the deep fracture that exists in our world today.

Pain is not always bad.  It is never fun to go through, but my experience has been that pain shapes us.  Pain has an incredible way of growing and developing our character.  Here are four things that I see pain doing in my life.

1. Pain causes us to Cry Out.

My wife Tiffany always makes fun of me, because whenever I get hut I vocalize it.  I can’t help but yelp when I mash my thumb with a hammer.  I can’t help but grunt when I twist my ankle.  That is me vocalizing what is going on inside of me.  When we go through pain, we need to vocalize what is happening.  Pain should cause you to cry out.  I’ll never forget laying in the hospital bed  almost 3 years ago now, unable to move, or even open my eyes because the pain was so intense.  All I could do was just quietly cry out to God, “Jesus help me… help me…”

2. Pain causes us to Slow Down

If you’ve ever broken a bone you know that life doesn’t go back to normal immediately after they set the bone.  The doctor prescribes a period of healing.  Sometimes it can be 6 weeks or more before you are healthy enough and before your body has been restored to the place where your bones can handle the stress and pressure on them.  Emotional pain has the same effect.  It should cause you to slow down and proceed with caution.  Your hurt causes you to test the waters a little bit before you dive right in.

3. Pain causes us to Think About the Root

I don’t know about you, but I never want to repeat painful situations.  If we don’t want to repeat the pain, then we better figure out what caused it.  After injuring myself I will never do that activity the same again.  You can’t right?  We have to figure out the root cause for the pain and then try to remedy it.  I was always taught that the most dangerous knife was a dull knife.  So now I try to keep my knives sharp because I remember the pain of cutting myself…

4. Pain causes us to Live Differently

Living in the wake of pain is not necessarily bad.  It does however have the ability to affect our daily patterns.  Sometimes pain is so difficult that it causes us to live totally different than before.  It may cause us to rely on God in a new way.  It may require that you wake up on a daily basis and change your routine.  We do this to avoid getting hurt again.

Pain is not always a bad thing.  I love what it says in James 1:2-4, “Consider it all joy my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance.  And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.”  That is not always an easy pill to swallow, but then again it is easier to go through pain when you know that there is something good that will come out of it.

Don’t be afraid to cry out in the midst of your pain.  Our God is there to listen!

~Peter

“He’s so silly”, as my 2 year old Grace would say.  “That guy is so silly.”  Yesterday morning I was on my way to guys Bible Study and I decided to stop and pick up some donuts and chocolate milk.  Now let me give you a time stamp for when this was all happening at.  This was at the early hour of 5:55.  IN THE MORNING!  Seriously folks…  what is wrong with me?  Who plans a Bible study that early?  Anyway, as I am pulling out of Dunkin Donuts, I see this guy in spandex and a coat tricked out with reflective tape running towards me.  Now, at this hour in the morning my mind immediately thought, there must be a fire somewhere and he is running to get help.  I mean this guy wouldn’t possibly be running for exercise out in the mind numbing, bone chilling, pet debilitating cold.  (Yes, It was that cold!)  But sure enough, I realized that an outfit like that could only mean one thing.  

HE’S CRAZY.

Sure enough I ended up being right.

Or at least so I thought.  

In my mind…  “What is wrong with this guy?  Why in the world would he be running this early in the morning.  There must be something seriously wrong with this guy!  He’s crazy.”

But then I noticed something else as I loosened my seat belt…  And drove off with a dozen donuts in my car.  (Tubby)

He was tall and skinny.

 

Hmm… His discipline was mildly inspiring.  Mostly still crazy in my mind, but inspiring.  

It wasn’t long after this that I began to think about how this is representative of my spiritual life.  I will so often say I want to be a spiritual giant like my Dad, or I want to know God’s word like the back of my hand.  Yet, I am not always willing to go “crazy” in order to attain that goal.  Shame on me!  “Stay round peter, don’t run… It’s too cold.”  That’s what my mind says.  My flesh says, “your good enough, don’t read today.   You can do it on your own, you don’t need God.”  

BOGUS!  I am not good enough, I need to read more!  I can’t do it on my own.  I need God in everything I do.  It’s high time I don some spandex, and hit the pavement in the bitter cold at 5:55 AM.  Or at least spiritually speaking.  And, maybe I’ll trade the spandex for jeans…  

Let’s go people.  What do you think?  Crazy?  You, me, that guy?  It’s time to become uncomfortable with the way we are, and move towards who God wants us to be!  Time to strive.  Time to long for more.  Time to step up to the plate and man up…

~Peter

Two years ago today I became a father of two children!  This is an exciting moment in our household…  No more need for whole milk, no more baby food, potty training begins soon, no more babies in our house…  (At least for now…)  This is a huge moment in our lives.  We have two children over the age of two.  It is cause for celebration.  We all went into Grace’s room this morning and woke her up… Here’s a little movie I took of that.  It is too funny.  

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekkZe-4DrCk]

It is thrilling to see Grace grow and become a little girl.  Soon enough it will be exciting to talk about how she is learning to drive, and engaged, and eventually she will be introducing a new life into the world of her own.  I can’t wait to watch and see how she grows.  

Imagine with me for a few seconds that if I feel this way about my own son or daughter, how much more excited God gets when we make strides to growing up spiritually!  Imagine when we get to the point where we just aren’t praying for a “good day”.  Or we are beginning to see the needs of others.  I can just see God up in heaven going, “WAHOOOO!!!  I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!  GOWESKY FINALLY GETS IT!  HE IS GROWING!”  

What are you doing to intentionally grow closer to God and in your walk with Him?

~Peter