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Relationships

How many good friends do you really have?  How many friends do you have that you would share anything with?  Do you have a friend that you can bare your soul to, and feel like you are going to be sincerely understood and accepted?  

It’s time for another salt lick round table discussion…  Let’s get our thinking caps on… time to think on these things… 

Lately I have been thinking about my friends, about the pace of my life, and if you’ve read anything around here, the state of my soul.  I have also been reading a book by Doug Fields, “What matters most, when no is better than yes”.  The combination of this short book and the other influences in my life have left me wondering about my relationships.   So, I wondered if maybe you would want to think about them too!  Your relationships that is…

Do you ever have a problem with the pace of your life?  Have you found yourself out to many nights a week, leaving yourself no time for the things that matter most?  

Fields makes a great point in this statement, “It takes time to go deep with others; but if you’re too busy, you won’t make the time for significant relationships.”  He continues… “Many ministry people are busy because they’re trying to become everything to everyone; instead they become nothing to no one.”  

One of my favorite quotes right now is from this guy over here at Stuff Christians Like… He wrote it in a very funny piece about blended worship services.  He said something to the extent of this, “Yeah, Let’s compromise, that way we both loose!”  

I feel like that applies to so many situations.  I have found myself saying that to myself over and over again in these past few weeks.  “Hmm… (sarcastic undertone included) Yeah let’s compromise Gowesky, that way you loose both things!”  

When it comes to relationships, the question is, are you slowing down long enough to make friends, to deepen the relationships that you already have, and to sincerely care for those who you have the privilage of calling your best friend?

I know that there is one friend that I have just pushed out of my schedule, simply because I haven’t kept my schedule in check.  It’s entirely my fault!  I feel bad!  In fact, I know that I owe him a huge apology!  

Is there anyone like that in your life?  

“When you don’t go deep with others, you’ll live in a very shallow place and ultimately become a shallow person.  I’ve watched busy people become so shallow that they don’t even understand how their busyness is impacting them.” -Doug Fields

WOW!!!  Am I the only crazy one here?  It’s an all Skate… Join in the conversation.  What do you think?

~Peter

Okay, so here at the Salt lick, it’s my goal to create a community of people who can be open and honest…  From time to time, we will get into things that are a little closer to uncomfortable then other times.  I mean, for real, how uncomfortable is it to look at my beautiful kids, and hear me tell stories of my life… … not very… … but it’s not all about stories and my kids, and such.  Those are good things for sure.  BUT… 

Today I want to bring up and have an open discussion on one of those tough topics… I’m sure this will get about 1 comment.  I’m okay with that.  My goal is to help us think together.  Not see how many comments I can get.

LUST!  What’s the deal with lust?  Now, I bet your thinking… Woah, let’s keep off the sexual talk here.  Remember this is associated with church and youth group and God type stuff.  “Let me remind you Peter, we don’t talk about sex and lust and stuff like that at church.”  

Oh really?  Seriously?

Hmm…

Anyhow, let me put your fears at ease… I’m not even really concerned with sexual lust today.  {insert big sigh of relief here…}  Lust.  I have this feeling that if we are honest, you and I lust after a lot more than pretty ladies, or strong handsome Peirce Brosnan-esque guys…  (What’s with that guy anyhow…  it must be his accent, click there and you can even join his fan club!  YEAH!)  The lust I’m concerned with today is lust like this: that one dream car, the perfect job, a better baseball team (I guess you can’t all have the phillies… sorry A’s, Red Socks, Royals, Giants… ) a larger salary, a Mac, I don’t know, whatever.  

In Exodus 20:17 it clearly address this type of lust… “No lusting after your neighbor’s house—or wife or servant or maid or ox or donkey. Don’t set your heart on anything that is your neighbor’s.”  Hmm…  Think on that for a few minutes…  

This weekend Tiffany and I are going to the National Youth Workers Convention in Pittsburgh.  We are bringing 10 of our other Youth Leaders with us.  This is one of those weekends that I look forward to months in advance.  It is right up there with family vacation, Christmas, and Thanksgiving, as being on the list of things I look forward to.  It goes, Family vacation, Christmas, NYWC, and then Thanksgiving, on the list of things I look forward to. It is that crucial to my life.  Thousands of other people who get what it is that I do, and why I do it gather together to learn, worship, and be filled again…  to get back to the point of where we were when we first started doing this.  But there is the one thing that I have to fight against.  I have been going for years to NYWC. In my early days, I was pastoring a Junior High Group of about 75-90 kids… that’s huge in comparison to a lot of other ministries.  Then I went to the beautiful shores of Long Beach Island and served at a smaller church where my junior high ministry consisted of 3-5 students.  My senior high on a good night would have 20.  I currently serve in a ministry that has somewhere between 35-50 junior high students, and 45-60 senior high students.  “So what are you saying Peter?”  What I’m saying is that it is easy for me to have ministry lust.  to look at other ministries and say I wish that I could have that many kids, or that sound system, or that lighting system, or that creative support team, or a facility dedicated to youth like they do over at “The Grass is Greener over here Community of the Redeemed Church”.  

Ministry lust… I struggle.  I had it when I had 75 kids, I had it when I had 3, I have it while I have 100+ kids.  God tells us that this type of lust/coveting, is not good, in fact He commands us not to have it, not to make it apart of who we are.  So, I fight against it.  I work hard.  I ask God for strength.  But it is tough.  

Here it is… the question that you knew I was going to ask, “What non-sexual thing do you lust after? And let’s take it one step further and help each other…  How do you avoid the trap of lusting after it?”

Join in the conversation…  It’s a free skate, all are welcome…

~Peter