Yesterday was a tough day. Noah had been having a “really hard day”. That is what he calls a day that has been filled with mistakes, arguments, and disappointments. Yesterday I tweeted a picture of a note that he gave me. It was drawn on a paper towel and folded up neatly ensuring that it was tightly packaged. The note simply says I’m Sorry, with a giant heart on the top.
There were several cool things about this note.
1. He was not prompted to write it. No one had to tell him to write an apology note. It flowed out of his desire to make things right. He spent time thinking through his visual expression of apology. Then he put creative effort into the apology.
2. It came quickly after the “issue”. It was not long after I had a conversation with Noah about his behavior that he went to the art table and proceeded to work on his note. There was no delay or gripe session to be had.
3. He was broken and gentle when he gave it to me. When he brought it over to me and presented his gift to me, his little voice was soft and gentle. He had an attitude of brokenness and a really sweet spirit.
What about you? Think back to the last altercation you were in, how did you resolve it?
It seems to me that we very often after we get in an argument with someone there is a long time before we get around to saying the dreaded words, “I’m Sorry”. Sometimes we may not ever even say it. If and when we do say I’m sorry, does your inflection, and body language declare that you are truly sorry, or was it said from an attitude that is far less than sorry?
An apology given that is not actually concerned with correcting and restoring the relationship is no apology at all.
Think, is there someone right now who you need to say I’m sorry to? If so, what’s stopping you?
~Peter