Today, I am reminded of the hole that is left in my life.
Today, one year ago today my dad was finally healed, restored, made whole and complete.
Today, I ache because he’s not here…
~Peter
Here’s the rest of the story…
As I am writing, I am in Waxahachie Texas at my parents house. I took a day off, and headed down south to spend some time with my mom and my sisters. It has been eight months since we said goodbye to my Dad. These have been some of the most difficult months that we as a family have gone through. God has been good, and He has lovingly shown us His peace, His mercy, His grace, and His amazing care for us. I have been so blessed to have a dad like my dad.
I was reading on the plane ride here to Texas, all while trying to keep my arms from touching either of the “elmo-esque” furry arms that awaited me on either side. I was finishing up the book, “Next Generation Leader” by Andy Stanley. There are several amazing lines in this book, but one stood out to me. It feels right to share it with you…
“The question is: Have you determined what you want to become? Your doing will flow from who you are. The outer man will reflect the inner man. The inner man determines the legacy of the outer man.”
Many of you who read this blog did not have an opportunity to meet my dad. There are a few things that I have learned about my dad since he has gone to be with the Lord. I knew that my dad was a man of God, but I didn’t know just how much! His legacy has left an incredible mark on my life, and the lives of so many. There was a time when he determined… when he set before himself, his wife, and his family that he was going to follow and serve God no matter what the cost. His inner man was set. He was sure. His outward actions reflected his inward convictions. He knew he was to be a man following God’s leading.
Have you determined what you want to become? It’s not to late. It’s never to late. What is the condition of your inner man? Is your outer man truly reflecting your inner convictions?
As I look ahead, I know that the single most important thing that I can do is to set before myself convictions that I believe that God himself has placed on my life, and follow them with all that I have.
What about you?
hmmm….
~Peter
Yesterday was a day spent giving thanks by many around our nation. We gathered around tables, booths, or bars, and spent time with others consuming near fatal amounts of turkey, and trimmings. Yesterday was a day set aside by our forefathers as a time to look back and remember all that God has done for us.
The other night I was sitting at our church’s thanksgiving eve service by myself all alone in the back row, feeling bad for myself. I was listening to person after person share how God had healed them and helped them in the last year, and I was having a hard time just thinking about how God chose to take my Dad home and not heal him. I’ll be honest, it was hard. Really hard.
But in the midst of it all, I started to tune out those who were speaking and I began a list in my journal of the things I’m thankful for. Here’s what I am thankful for in 2008…
- My wife
- My wife
- My wife
- My Kids
- My Family
- God providing for all of our needs
- For God clearly moving us when we need to be moved, and settling us when we need to settle
- For my friends
- For God chasing me
- For the trials
- For my Dad’s Legacy
- For my Mom
- For my WIFE
- For God teaching me and changing me
- For Tears
- For a great group of people that I get to serve alongside of
- For my life
There is so much to be thankful for. It is really easy to be negative though isn’t it? Just to look at the downside… But I’m grateful for so much! What about you? What are you thankful for?
~Peter
Dear Friends,
Thank you so much for all of the kind words that you have written and said. I appreciate your cards and your meals. Tiffany and I are so blessed to be supported by not only one church family, but three! In our short 26 years of life, we have already served in Youth Ministry roles in 3 churches. It was such a blessing to hear from friends from all three of those bodies! We miss you, and we are thankful for your prayers as we both walk through this time. It has been incredible to hear from people around the country and even around the world! Thank you, thank you, thank you.
To our family here in Doylestown, words cannot describe how grateful we are for each of you. I am so thankful to serve in a church that cares for me as a person not just for what I can bring to the table! We love you!
Thank you,
~Peter
After seeing this outpouring of love, it made me wonder, When was the last time that someone showered you with care and concern?
So, I am sitting here thinking and trying to get ready for our fall retreat for our High School Ministry at FBC, and I am just drawing blanks. I feel like I’m not firing on all cylinders. I look back at the course of the last two weeks and realize that it is blurry. There are a few moments that I remember with razor sharp accuracy. However, the minutes and hours have all kind of fuzzed over into one big painful memory. [For those of you who may be jumping in you can read about what I’m talking about, here, here, here, and here. You can click here to see my dad’s testimony.]
Today I got back the video from my dad’s memorial service, and I wanted to share this one video with you. I promise that I won’t inundate you with video’s and other stuff, but this is to special not to share.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P_86xX0mPzA]
After watching this over and over again I find it amazing to think about the way that my dad, even when unable to speak, continued to touch people’s lives. So many people take for granted how much their actions speak; how much their lives speak.
What is your life speaking right about now?
~Peter
Thank you for praying for us as a family. We are really going through the thick of it right now. Now that the funeral is done, the guests have left, things are going “back to normal”. It is difficult. Emotions come up at unexpected times, and it truly just keeps bringing me back to my knees in prayer. Thank you for meeting me there!
I am glad to be here with my family in Texas. It has been good to be here for an extended period after the funeral. We have had an opportunity to be together, reminisce together, laugh, and cry together. I have been so impacted by the words that people have written about my dad over here at the caring bridge site. It has been great to read about the ways that my dad has made a difference in people’s lives. There are even some people who didn’t know him that well whose lives he has touched. Like this one here.
It is hard walking down this road. I have come to hate the word “was”. I hate using the word was. I wish that I could still say is…
Thank you for your continued prayer support. We are so thankful for each of you!
~Peter
This was recorded about a year ago. What an amazing man. I wanted to share this with you all.
~Peter
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sR_9mfIb9Gc]
The race is over. He finished well. “Well done my good and faithful servant.” Those are the words that my dear dad heard as he entered into spending eternity with our God. Today his fight with Lewy Bodies Disease is over. Today his fight with this body, and the confines of it, are over. Today he is set free!
I wept thinking about how he will be able to walk again. How he will be able to think again. How he will be able to sing and pray again. How he will be able to speak again! I miss him terribly already.
God gave me this scripture passage today while I was sitting in my office lost in thoughts and memories.
“But You, O Lord, are a shield about me, My glory, and the One who lifts my head. I was crying to the Lord with my voice, And He answered me from His holy mountain. I lay down and slept; I awoke, for the Lord sustains me.” Psalm 3:3-5
Thank you to each of you who have helped pray, and ask God to take my dad. He has heard our cries! Praise God.
I have this song running through my head right now…
Blessed Be Your Name In the land that is plentiful, Where Your streams of abundance flow Blessed be Your name Blessed Be Your name, When I’m found in the desert place, Though I walk through the wilderness Blessed Be Your name,
Every blessing You pour out I’ll turn back to praise When the darkness closes in, Lord Still I will say Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name, Blessed be the name of the Lord, Blessed be Your glorious name,
Blessed be Your name When the sun’s shining down on me When the world’s ‘all as it should be’ Blessed be Your name Blessed be Your name On the road marked with suffering Though there’s pain in the offering Blessed be Your name
Every blessing You pour out I’ll turn back to praise When the darkness closes in, Lord Still I will say Blessed be the name of the Lord Blessed be Your name Blessed be the name of the Lord Blessed be Your glorious name Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name, Blessed be the name of the Lord, Blessed be Your glorious name, You give and take away, You give and take away, My heart will choose to say Lord, blessed be Your name…
Dad, I am proud of you. I miss you. I love you. And I want to be just like you.
~Your Son
Services will be held at Waxahachie Bible Church:
Viewing – Thursday 5:00 – 7:00
Memorial – Thursday 7:00
Graveside – Friday 11:00 (City Cemetary)
“In lieu of flowers the family requests that you gift three missionary couples dear to Daddy’s heart. Checks can be made to Waxahachie Bible Church (memo Jeffrey Gowesky Memorial).”
Waxahachie Bible Church
621 Grand Ave.
Waxahachie, TX 75165
Boze Wayne Funeral Home
1826 US Hwy 287 Business West
Waxahachie, TX 75165
972-923-2700
This morning I can’t stop the questions from rolling through my mind… I am tired of all these questions…
How have we gotten here?
Did we really just make arrangements for my dad’s funeral?
Am I really flying to Texas with a suit?
Seriously am I preparing to talk at my Dad’s funeral?
How do I present the gospel and keep from crying?
Why now?
I can’t wait for him to be with Jesus… When God?
Can I truly sing “It is well with my soul”?
God make it well with my soul!?!
How do I keep my patience with people when my fuse is so short?
God please find me faithful as I walk through this valley of shadows.
I write this with a lump in my throat and a pain in my chest. Please keep praying for me and my family. My mom’s name is Sarah, and I have three sisters, Heidi, Heather, and Marcy. We covet your prayers in this time. We know that our dad will spend eternity in heaven worshiping God the creator of heaven and earth, of all the seen and unseen. Yet my heart is selfish. I want my dad back. I want to talk with him and see him. I want to feel his arms embrace me in a hug. One day in eternity we will meet again! What a day that will be…
To keep updated on my dad and all that is going on, visit our caring bridge site.
~Peter
It’s pretty much a fuzzy blur. Right now, there aren’t a whole lot of words to say. Daddy is still hanging on. I know that my family is praying for my dad and his home going. I also know that there is an extended family of men and women whose lives will never be the same because of my Dad who are also in ceaseless and fervent prayer for my dad. I am amazed. There is a man who is fasting and praying for God to call my dad home soon. THank you to all of my extended family who have been continuing to spend time before the God of this universe on behalf of the entire Gowesky family.
I think that it is a pretty safe bet that we are all hurting in different ways. Phone calls, and text messages are filled with tears, joy, sorrow, sadness, honesty, love and pride. I am so proud of my dad for the life that he has lived. He is an incredible man of God. Faithful to his family, faithful to his God, faithful to the church’s he has served. 
Never in all of the years that I have had the privalage of being his son have I ever heard him talk negatively about God’s bride, the church. In the midst of some painful situations He always remained positive. One of the last sermons that he ever preached was in the dining room of my grandmothers house in NJ. He read Psalm 16 and he shared with all of us around the table about how God has allowed the lines to fall in pleasant places for him. He also reminded us that God is his inheritance. I will never forget his ability to comfort us even when he was the one suffering. What a man of God. Praise God for my dad’s life.
We continue to pray and cheer him on as He is going home to be with the Lord. Please join me…
~Peter